EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT FARTS, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK.
#1 - What
makes farts stink?
The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans
in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such
as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich
your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria
in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower,
eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce
large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.
#2 - Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?
Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen
and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the
anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and
more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the
anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve
a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!)
mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm. Another major
source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion
processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The
resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky
bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly),
often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.
#3- How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed
over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for
you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your
daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep
a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a
note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship
between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.
#4 - How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature
and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and
the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also
disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes
with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds,
it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.
Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed
area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the
amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration
for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.
#5 - Why is
there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?
Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several
seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel
at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time
we hear them.
#6 - Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.
#7 - Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?
Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach
our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas!
Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk,
and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples
and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's
digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's
bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.
#8 - What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?
People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can
be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast
moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines.
Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane
or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and
emerge as flatulence.
#9 - Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?
No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition
from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas
content than burps.
#10 - Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed
for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius
even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's
health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch
a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me
that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison
you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing
that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But
one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result
if a person holds in farts too much.
#11 - How long would it be possible to not fart?
A captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that
a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at
great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight
field trips, long bus trips, and trans- Pacific flights, I can personally vouch
for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the
answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you
can stay awake!
#12 - Do all people fart in their sleep?
The gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening.
#13 - Where do farts go when you hold them in?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply
migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring
to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.
#14 - How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb
the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another
ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about
how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the
sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent,
or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it.
Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people
think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can
act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken
in thinking he heard a fart. Another strategy is not to cover it up, but to
proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge
to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.
#15 - Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get
injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon,
but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by
Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the
people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is
a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend
to light your fart for you, might find it easier to accomplish the job using
the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a
higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric
cautery was used by the surgeon.
#16 - Why is possible to burn farts?
Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of
which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill
fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.
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